The Kind Words of a Sister

Sisters can be some of the greatest blessings in the world...even for a guy like me!  My sisters are especially amazing.  They listen to me whine about my problems (and also invite me to dinner at Famous Dave's, so good).  They allow me to be me and help me understand the female psyche!  I err in so many ways but they are there to help me back onto my feet and try again, even if it means starting over.  I've had a rough couple of days filled with confusion and regret.  Ill-fated words that felt so right when written.  I have lacked understanding and with that have failed.  I have learned, however, that nothing is more painful than angry words from a broken heart.  Words I have written have stung me deeper than those of anyone else.  My own writ is a lecture to myself.  At times I have spoken, written, or heard angry words such as the ones that I have recklessly thrown about today and yesterday.  Am I proud of my words, not at all.  Why would I have chosen these words instead of finding an alternate release?  A word spoken is a word that can never be taken back.  If offense is taken, it is out of our control.  All that we can do is look forward to tomorrow knowing that today we have learned a lesson.  We must ask forgiveness of those whom we have offended.  I hope that I can become a better individual for the trials through which I pass.  To all of my friends and family, I love you!  To those whom I may have offended, I ask your forgiveness and understanding.  I'm not perfect.  I won't be perfect tomorrow.  I will, however, be ever perfecting myself in this journey we call life!

Buzz

What You Can't Have...

The more I live the more I learn about this life we live. What is it about us humans that makes us pursue those things that seem unattainable and dismiss that which is within our clutches? Why is it that we don't really care about goals themselves; rather, we tend to put them in place and quickly toss them aside once we see slightly "greener" pastures? Is it our overstimulating society that causes us to want something new every few months, weeks, days, or seconds? Is it a fear of success that hinders many of us? What happens if we become a successful person? More will be expected out of us...more should be expected out of us! I talk from personal experience and obviously not everybody shares the same fear of success that I do. Some people know how to cope with success and aren't afraid of it. I used to think that I was afraid of screwing up but I have realized that I don't mind it at all. I enjoy learning. I enjoy finding my limitations and trying to break through those barriers. Just recently I have learned that it is success that I fear most. I have noticed it in all facets of my life, well, all but one. Dating is the one area in which I am not afraid of success and yet I fear the scene altogether, thanks largely in part to a few experiences to be explained later. Growing up I never thought that I was good enough for any of the girls in high school. Later in life, mostly after my mission, I gained more confidence and thought I could now hit it out of the park. Yet time and again I failed. I know that I'm a good guy so what was it about me that women didn't like? There's the obvious, I'm overweight and trust me when I say that real life is not like the movies...women don't like a guy "like that" because of his personality or just because he's funny, sorry Farley (bless your dead and over-worked heart). Women don't choose men because of their spirituality, either. Then, when a man is lucky enough to find a woman interested in him, he's really just begun the hellacious carousel of indecision known as the female decision making process. If there is one rule in dating that I have learned, it is that a woman wants what she can't have. I mean honestly women, what the hell?! For example, I recently (within the past 24years) dated this girl who would show every bit of interest in me as long as I didn't show any interest back...once I showed that I cared even just a little, she backed off and wanted nothing to do with me...so of course, what's a guy supposed to do...I backed off! As soon as I stopped showing interest in her, the phone calls began again and magically she wanted to talk to me again! I thought that maybe that was just her...however, even more recently I had a friendgirl that seemed like all the others...friendly but of course would not want anything to do with me "like that". My buddy told me that she had told him that she wanted me to take her out. Looking back, what I should've done was absolutely nothing...what I did do was I asked her out...therein lies the mistake. As soon as I asked her out I had signed my own dating-death warrant. Once she got what she needed from me she no longer needed me as a friend! What a great feeling! They've helped me to see that it's not important who you are but what you have and how willing you are to share it...that's what gets a girl...STUFF. It may only be temporary, as it was in my case but it works. It's no wonder girls around here end up with jerks...they'll put you down often but at least they'll make you emotionally needy so that they may pick you back up and be there for you. After all you need them!

Now, obviously I didn't mean that each and every one of you girls out there is stupid. I have three great brothers-in-law and do believe that my sisters are very wise. I was letting off some steam about different girls who, lucky for me, I don't ever have to see again if I don't want. I welcome any comments or questions that you might have...P.S. I love my new artificial jawline!!!

FTWFW, Peace!