My Heavenly Father Loves Me

I was fixed on writing about another topic and as the words failed to come, I couldn’t help but write of the love of our Heavenly Father. For 20+ years I was content with life…I was doing the things that I knew were right. For the most part, I was a righteous man. However, I was never converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ. I didn’t really know what conversion was. Maybe I still don’t.

However, after enduring self-made trials that led me back to the loving embrace of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, I started to understand the gospel a little more. I understand that God will never abandon us. I have often felt alone. I have cried myself to sleep. I have felt as though I were in the pit of despair. I have felt abandoned and left for dead. However, I have never been alone. I know, though many times I couldn’t feel Him, Heavenly Father was closer than I can imagine. Our Savior has lifted me time and time again.

They have never given up on me though many times I have given up on myself. There have been plenty of instances in which I wish the Lord would have just given up on me; it would be so much easier I have thought. John Grady Cole, in Cormac McCarthy’s All the Pretty Horses, comes to the conclusion that “it was always himself that the coward abandoned first.” I have been a coward much in my life. I have given up on me, I have given up on my family, and I have given up on God.

For a time, I even started to understand Atheism. For at times it feels easier to deny a belief in a God than it is to live up to what He expects. I believe there is a great difference between disbelieving in a God as part of a search for truth and disbelieving in a God to avoid responsibility. However, I have come to the understanding that belief in God is the ONLY thing that ultimately makes sense. Faith in my Creator and my Savior is the only way to reconcile the bounteous wonders around us.

The human body with all of its qualities is astounding. The more we understand about the human brain, the more it becomes a mystery. As we gaze into the night skies, worlds without numbers appear before our eyes. The Lord could have shrouded these stars, galaxies, and planets from view. He chose to allow us to see them so we can wonder. As we explore these nebulae, our minds are opened to greater questions.

The more we trust in our Father in Heaven, the more assured we become. At times, it is difficult to carry on. Sometimes we feel lost, small, or insignificant. I know that I have felt that way recently. But we have a duty. Ours is to carry on. Ours is to battle on. Whether big or small, our duty is to but obey. C.S. Lewis stated:

He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs—to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature he wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best. We can drag our patients along by continual tempting, because we design them only for the slaughter, and the more their will is interfered with the better. He cannot ‘tempt’ to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles.

Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy’s will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.

Sometimes, all you can do is hold on. The dawn will break, the light will come. The blessing of a new day is true. When I feel lost or afraid…I know that the quickest way to find my way is to get down on my knees and pray to my Heavenly Father…Don’t be afraid to get on your knees…don’t be afraid of being ‘that person’.