The past few months have been full of spiritual growth. I would be remiss if I did not give credit where credit is due. Heavenly Father, in all His wisdom and love, has allowed this spiritual growing and has blessed me as I "seek [His] face." It would be impossible for me to fully thank Heavenly Father for His goodness and mercy just as it would be impossible to fully thank Jesus Christ for His atoning sacrifice and deliverance from sin and death. The last few weeks have been great weeks of and for spiritual growth. I have learned a lot and I am so much happier today than I have been for years. I have begun diligently reading in the scriptures which has brought about much change and much understanding. I have been blessed to have a wealth of spiritual promptings, inspirations, and revelations. I have had the good fortune of having the best family on the planet. I have been so blessed to be surrounded by some of the most wonderful people in the world.
I could never do this alone. Although it may feel like it at times, I am extremely happy that I am not asked to "go it alone." I have a bishop, Bishop Farnsworth, who is a spiritual giant and truly a man of God. His two counselors, Brothers Dodson and Thomas, are great examples of family men. All three are fine examples for all of us men in the Mt. Mahogany Young Single Adult (YSA) Ward.
We recently had our Alpine YSA Summer Summit which had been explained to us as an "EFY-type" event organized for the single adults aged 18-31 in the north Utah County area. It took place Friday through Sunday evening. The events began Friday evening with a carnival, ward tug-o-wars, "speed-dating", and the night concluded with BYU's Divine Comedy. Saturday was comprised of a 5k run, an opening keynote speech by Robert Millet, two hours of workshops (6 different 1 hour classes of which you could select 2), lunch and a service project, and a concluding keynote speech by Mike Schlappi...all of this before 3 p.m. We adjourned until later that evening when there was a Peter Breinholt concert (guest appearance by Ryan Shupe). Following the concert, there was a dance held outside of the school where the concert was held. The Summer Summit concluded with a devotional on Sunday evening. Scott Anderson, institute teacher extraordinaire, spoke on the wondrous blessings of the Gospel, especially the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It was a great meeting and I am so glad that I had the opportunity to attend. However, I most likely would have avoided it had it not been for the wonderful people surrounding me in life.
Several weeks ago, Brother Thomas shared a message in ward council regarding the upcoming Alpine YSA Summer Summit. He related the story of the Brother of Jared when the Lord confounded the languages at the Tower of Babel. It was asked of the Lord that He not confound the language of Jared and his friends and family. They also inquired where they should go. The Lord replied, "go to...and there will I meet thee." (Ether 1:41-42) Brother Thomas and Bishop shared that this was the feeling they got in regards to the Summer Summit. Bishop stated, and then reiterated it to the whole ward in Sacrament Meeting and Sunday School, that the Summer Summit had been organized under inspiration. He said that the Spirit was going to be at the Summer Summit and it was up to us to meet Him there. Bishop also said, "don't be too concerned with what you're going to get out of this...be concerned with what you might be able to contribute. This helped me focus on what I could do to better the experience for others in attendance.
A strange thing happened, however, which made me think of the words of Christ, "but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it." (Mark 8:35) Several times during the weekend, I wanted to leave and go home to what was comfortable, "remember Lot's wife." (Luke 17:32) I might not have lost my mortal life if I had returned home on any one of those occasions but I would have surely missed out on several spiritual experiences and would have lost the life that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ wanted for me. I am very happy to say that I stayed all weekend. Several times I had the opportunity to reach out to someone in need. However, I know that many, many more times I felt the hands stretched out to me, bearing me up in my times of need. Several people helped me and, though it may sound cheesy, I will forever be grateful. I was filled with so much happiness and felt the Spirit so strongly this weekend that I was often brought to tears.
I was hesitant before Brother Thomas and Bishop Farnsworth bore testimony of the importance of being at this activity. I could not deny the power with which they spoke. I knew that it was true. This was a great opportunity for me to grow and to learn. I signed up to go within minutes after our ward council meeting without knowing if I could even have the time off of work. I knew that I belonged at the Summer Summit and that it was my duty to be there. I actually thought to myself, "If you can't get work off for this, then you shouldn't be working there anyway." I don't know if I would have had the faith to quit my job if it had come down to that. I'd like to think, knowing what I now know, that I would have gladly walked away. Luckily for me, it did not come down to that. I believe that most decisions in life will not be very dramatic. However, when it does come time for the dramatic decision, it is my hope that we can each rise to the occasion and choose to be on the Lord's side.
Gratitude fills my body, my soul, as I think of the Savior rising to the occasion for each and every one of us. It is my personal belief that He took upon Him every pain (read sorrow, illness, disease, addiction, etc.) as it is experienced by each individual person. He didn't suffer for us in general and He doesn't bear us up "in general." There is no doubt in my mind that He loves us all. I am so thankful for Him and for His perfect love for me.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Follow the Spirit...No Matter What
Elder David A. Bednar explains in his book "Increase in Learning" that we are to act, as agents, and not be acted upon, as objects. There is a scripture that I like to read when talking about following the Spirit. Nephi had just returned to Jerusalem to recover the brass plates from Laban. He acted upon the commandment that he had received from the Lord, via his father, Lehi. After their plan was frustrated the first time, Nephi returns to attempt again, explaining that he knows the Lord will provide a way for them to fulfill their purpose. He states, "and I was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do." (1 Nephi 4:6)
I recently had an experience with this sort of guidance. I was dealing with temptation, as happens so often in this carnal and devilish world. I prayed to be protected and that I would make the right decisions regarding said temptation. I was delivered from the temptation and was very happy. Foolishly, I let my guard down and, as happens with temptation, the Devil returned tempting me again. I wasn't as faithful this time and fell into temptation. The accompanying feelings of despair and loneliness were overwhelming. In this moment, following the sin, I knew that I had to make a choice. I could choose to wallow in self-pity and "whoa-is-me-ishness" or I could pray for forgiveness and recommit myself to our Father in Heaven.
I chose to pray and I am very glad that I did. I asked Heavenly Father, through the grace of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, to forgive me of the aforementioned sin and to help me move forward. A question came to my mind. The question was posed the Thursday prior by President Robbins, an institute teacher in the Alpine Utah YSA Stake. He asked, "do you think that you have ever done anything that has surprised, angered, or embarrassed the Savior Jesus Christ?" The answer he gave was, "No!" He explained that the Savior knows that we live in a carnal world ruled by Satan. He knows that there will be missteps along the way. He loves us so very much that He bore our sin, our grief, and our pain. He will stand by us as we have faith in Him and strive to do what is right. This was a very comforting feeling. I continued praying.
I asked Heavenly Father to help me become worthy of the guidance of the Holy Ghost again. I promptly received the inspiration that I should attend the temple and do work for the dead. I shrugged off what I considered to be a crazy thought as I knew that I was not worthy to attend the temple. However, that feeling returned and forced me to consider what I was feeling. I felt the Spirit as if it said, "If you get ready and go to the temple now, you are worthy to go. If you wait to go until tomorrow, then you will not be worthy to enter." I knew that I needed to follow that prompting, as crazy as it seemed to my intellect.
I got up and got dressed to go to the temple. While I was driving to the temple, I wrestled with the thought of having very recently sinned and heading to the temple to participate in sacred ordinances. I continued to feel that it was right, even if it did not jibe with my current understanding. I arrived at the temple and as I pulled into the parking lot, a flood understanding washed over me. I understood the feelings and the promptings that I had received. You see, it was July 24. Here in Utah, that is Pioneer Day. A day celebrating the arrival of the first Latter-day Saint Pioneers to the Salt Lake Valley. As a result, the temple was closed. I had completely forgotten that the temple was closed. I parked in the parking lot and briefly admired the beauty of that building and the wonderful work that is performed inside. I marvel to think of the love of the Father to allow us to worship together and perform work for the deceased. I began to pray as I sat in my car.
The feelings of reassurance came into my heart, knowing that my Heavenly Father had directed me to that specific spot at that exact moment. I felt His Spirit as if it said, "My son, I wanted you to prove your willingness to change, to diligently act in faith, and to choose to follow the Spirit, 'not knowing beforehand the things which [you] should do.' (1 Nephi 4:6) I have brought you here, not to do temple work, but to teach you the importance of listening to the Spirit."
I wish to stop here for a moment and clarify that I am not comparing myself to Nephi, the great prophet of the Book of Mormon. I wish that one day I might show the same faith that he always did. I think of his rallying cry, "Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul...Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions." (2 Nephi 4:28-29) I love this chapter of scripture, often referred to as Nephi's Psalm. Midway through the chapter Nephi begins to describe his feelings of inadequacy. He explains that, at times, he feels almost overpowered by the adversary. However, he continues to pray to the Father of us all. He thanks Heavenly Father for his goodness and mercy. He has feelings of sorrow, despair, loneliness, and a host of feelings that knock us down. But as is always the case with the faithful followers of Christ, Nephi always gets back up.
"Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord...wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin? May the gates of hell be shut continually before me...encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness...I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever...I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee..." (2 Nephi 4:30-35)
This experience has taught me several very valuable lessons. First, our Heavenly Father loves us. He knows us on an extremely intimate level and has a plan for the salvation of each one of us. He knows the thoughts and intents of our hearts. Second, worthiness does not come merely through the passage of time but through the changing of the heart. For this reason, and others, we are not to judge others, especially when it comes to repentance. Third, the power of the adversary is strong and it is very real. I have felt that power as if it were a blanket of darkness that tries to overpower you in a spiritual, as well as physical way. This is the moment of choice.
You may "choose captivity and death" by allowing the darkness to fill your mind and your heart or you may "choose liberty and eternal life" by praying for deliverance from that awful being. We are "free to choose" (2 Nephi 2:27) but we do not have to choose nor walk alone. Speaking of the influence of the Holy Ghost, Elder Richard G. Scott explained, "I do not understand fully how it is done, but that guidance in your life does not take away your agency. You can make the decisions you choose to make..." (April 2012 - General Conference Saturday Afternoon) I hope that we can make the decision to follow Christ's example and be perfected in Him.
I know that He is our Savior and that He bled and died for us. He suffered immense pain which caused Him, the Greatest of all, to tremble. (Doctrine & Covenants 19:18) He fought, and suffered, and died to give us the right of agency. He made it possible for us to choose for ourselves, to seek learning, and to come unto the Father. He is the ONLY way back to the Father.
I recently had an experience with this sort of guidance. I was dealing with temptation, as happens so often in this carnal and devilish world. I prayed to be protected and that I would make the right decisions regarding said temptation. I was delivered from the temptation and was very happy. Foolishly, I let my guard down and, as happens with temptation, the Devil returned tempting me again. I wasn't as faithful this time and fell into temptation. The accompanying feelings of despair and loneliness were overwhelming. In this moment, following the sin, I knew that I had to make a choice. I could choose to wallow in self-pity and "whoa-is-me-ishness" or I could pray for forgiveness and recommit myself to our Father in Heaven.
I chose to pray and I am very glad that I did. I asked Heavenly Father, through the grace of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, to forgive me of the aforementioned sin and to help me move forward. A question came to my mind. The question was posed the Thursday prior by President Robbins, an institute teacher in the Alpine Utah YSA Stake. He asked, "do you think that you have ever done anything that has surprised, angered, or embarrassed the Savior Jesus Christ?" The answer he gave was, "No!" He explained that the Savior knows that we live in a carnal world ruled by Satan. He knows that there will be missteps along the way. He loves us so very much that He bore our sin, our grief, and our pain. He will stand by us as we have faith in Him and strive to do what is right. This was a very comforting feeling. I continued praying.
I asked Heavenly Father to help me become worthy of the guidance of the Holy Ghost again. I promptly received the inspiration that I should attend the temple and do work for the dead. I shrugged off what I considered to be a crazy thought as I knew that I was not worthy to attend the temple. However, that feeling returned and forced me to consider what I was feeling. I felt the Spirit as if it said, "If you get ready and go to the temple now, you are worthy to go. If you wait to go until tomorrow, then you will not be worthy to enter." I knew that I needed to follow that prompting, as crazy as it seemed to my intellect.
I got up and got dressed to go to the temple. While I was driving to the temple, I wrestled with the thought of having very recently sinned and heading to the temple to participate in sacred ordinances. I continued to feel that it was right, even if it did not jibe with my current understanding. I arrived at the temple and as I pulled into the parking lot, a flood understanding washed over me. I understood the feelings and the promptings that I had received. You see, it was July 24. Here in Utah, that is Pioneer Day. A day celebrating the arrival of the first Latter-day Saint Pioneers to the Salt Lake Valley. As a result, the temple was closed. I had completely forgotten that the temple was closed. I parked in the parking lot and briefly admired the beauty of that building and the wonderful work that is performed inside. I marvel to think of the love of the Father to allow us to worship together and perform work for the deceased. I began to pray as I sat in my car.
The feelings of reassurance came into my heart, knowing that my Heavenly Father had directed me to that specific spot at that exact moment. I felt His Spirit as if it said, "My son, I wanted you to prove your willingness to change, to diligently act in faith, and to choose to follow the Spirit, 'not knowing beforehand the things which [you] should do.' (1 Nephi 4:6) I have brought you here, not to do temple work, but to teach you the importance of listening to the Spirit."
I wish to stop here for a moment and clarify that I am not comparing myself to Nephi, the great prophet of the Book of Mormon. I wish that one day I might show the same faith that he always did. I think of his rallying cry, "Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul...Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions." (2 Nephi 4:28-29) I love this chapter of scripture, often referred to as Nephi's Psalm. Midway through the chapter Nephi begins to describe his feelings of inadequacy. He explains that, at times, he feels almost overpowered by the adversary. However, he continues to pray to the Father of us all. He thanks Heavenly Father for his goodness and mercy. He has feelings of sorrow, despair, loneliness, and a host of feelings that knock us down. But as is always the case with the faithful followers of Christ, Nephi always gets back up.
"Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord...wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin? May the gates of hell be shut continually before me...encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness...I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever...I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee..." (2 Nephi 4:30-35)
This experience has taught me several very valuable lessons. First, our Heavenly Father loves us. He knows us on an extremely intimate level and has a plan for the salvation of each one of us. He knows the thoughts and intents of our hearts. Second, worthiness does not come merely through the passage of time but through the changing of the heart. For this reason, and others, we are not to judge others, especially when it comes to repentance. Third, the power of the adversary is strong and it is very real. I have felt that power as if it were a blanket of darkness that tries to overpower you in a spiritual, as well as physical way. This is the moment of choice.
You may "choose captivity and death" by allowing the darkness to fill your mind and your heart or you may "choose liberty and eternal life" by praying for deliverance from that awful being. We are "free to choose" (2 Nephi 2:27) but we do not have to choose nor walk alone. Speaking of the influence of the Holy Ghost, Elder Richard G. Scott explained, "I do not understand fully how it is done, but that guidance in your life does not take away your agency. You can make the decisions you choose to make..." (April 2012 - General Conference Saturday Afternoon) I hope that we can make the decision to follow Christ's example and be perfected in Him.
I know that He is our Savior and that He bled and died for us. He suffered immense pain which caused Him, the Greatest of all, to tremble. (Doctrine & Covenants 19:18) He fought, and suffered, and died to give us the right of agency. He made it possible for us to choose for ourselves, to seek learning, and to come unto the Father. He is the ONLY way back to the Father.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Obedience to that Law
I have recently learned a powerful lesson. This is a lesson that I have been taught ever since I can remember and yet, only now at 28 years old, am I learning it. Every blessing given to any person on earth is given according to the laws of justice. "Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." (Galatians 6:7)
I have spent the last 7 weeks trying to draw nearer unto my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ. I have been blessed with many promptings, inspirations, and revelations that have guided me as I seek to renew my life as a disciple of Christ. I have been blessed to face challenges up against which I might otherwise have shrunk. I have been given the strength to walk by faith, the patience to endure, and the clarity of mind to discern between good and evil.
I have been working at a call center sales job for 5 weeks, now. I figured that I would be blessed and would know how to sell well, as long as I was doing what was right. What I did not count on, was that what I was doing, while good and spiritual, was not the answer to the question, "how do I sell this product better?"
I was reading in Elder Bednar's book "Increase in Learning" when I came across a powerful teaching that now makes more sense. Elder Bednar was asked about the role of the Spirit when it comes to matters that are not directly related to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. His answer was both needful and timely. He said that one mission of the Holy Ghost is to bring ALL things to our remembrance and teach ALL things that are needful. Insomuch that we are agents to act, and not be acted upon, it is our responsibility to be diligently working and taking in information. He used the example of being a new employee (coincidence? No, I choose to believe it was a "tender mercy of the Lord"). I knew what I needed to do. I needed to focus more on learning my job and the information surrounding my job. This way, the Holy Ghost had something to work with. A day or two before reading that, I also read from Sheri Dew's "No One Can Take Your Place." Talking about scripture reading, and this can relate to all learning, she states that a friend exclaimed that there was so much in the scriptures that she couldn't remember half of what she read. Her friend continued, "But I've decided it's my job to put them in, and the Holy Ghost's job to pull them out when I need them."
I am happy to report that I was blessed to have my best day yet and that when I left work on Saturday, I had been blessed to have the most sales on the call floor. I know that learning is essential in this life. We have the chance and the choice, as well as the responsibility, to learn every day of our lives.
Heavenly Father has blessings in store for us but he can't simply give us those gifts. He desires that we learn and grow. Elder D. Todd Christofferson taught that, "He is a tender parent who would spare us needless suffering and grief..." There are two things that we can take away from that statement. The first, and most important, is that our Heavenly Father loves us dearly. The second take away is that there definitely will be suffering along the way but, He has promised that the suffering has a purpose. He understands that this life will include testing, pain, anguish, and struggle. He "delights to honor those who serve [Him]." (Doctrine and Covenants 76:5) He put laws in place in order to give us every blessing possible. "There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated. And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated." (Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21) He will not leave us alone. We can have his Spirit to be with us ALWAYS. I know this to be true and I am so thankful for a Loving Heavenly Father that guides every child that asks for his help. I hope that many more can learn to recognize the Spirit of the Lord so they, too, may be led into all good!
I have spent the last 7 weeks trying to draw nearer unto my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ. I have been blessed with many promptings, inspirations, and revelations that have guided me as I seek to renew my life as a disciple of Christ. I have been blessed to face challenges up against which I might otherwise have shrunk. I have been given the strength to walk by faith, the patience to endure, and the clarity of mind to discern between good and evil.
I have been working at a call center sales job for 5 weeks, now. I figured that I would be blessed and would know how to sell well, as long as I was doing what was right. What I did not count on, was that what I was doing, while good and spiritual, was not the answer to the question, "how do I sell this product better?"
I was reading in Elder Bednar's book "Increase in Learning" when I came across a powerful teaching that now makes more sense. Elder Bednar was asked about the role of the Spirit when it comes to matters that are not directly related to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. His answer was both needful and timely. He said that one mission of the Holy Ghost is to bring ALL things to our remembrance and teach ALL things that are needful. Insomuch that we are agents to act, and not be acted upon, it is our responsibility to be diligently working and taking in information. He used the example of being a new employee (coincidence? No, I choose to believe it was a "tender mercy of the Lord"). I knew what I needed to do. I needed to focus more on learning my job and the information surrounding my job. This way, the Holy Ghost had something to work with. A day or two before reading that, I also read from Sheri Dew's "No One Can Take Your Place." Talking about scripture reading, and this can relate to all learning, she states that a friend exclaimed that there was so much in the scriptures that she couldn't remember half of what she read. Her friend continued, "But I've decided it's my job to put them in, and the Holy Ghost's job to pull them out when I need them."
I am happy to report that I was blessed to have my best day yet and that when I left work on Saturday, I had been blessed to have the most sales on the call floor. I know that learning is essential in this life. We have the chance and the choice, as well as the responsibility, to learn every day of our lives.
Heavenly Father has blessings in store for us but he can't simply give us those gifts. He desires that we learn and grow. Elder D. Todd Christofferson taught that, "He is a tender parent who would spare us needless suffering and grief..." There are two things that we can take away from that statement. The first, and most important, is that our Heavenly Father loves us dearly. The second take away is that there definitely will be suffering along the way but, He has promised that the suffering has a purpose. He understands that this life will include testing, pain, anguish, and struggle. He "delights to honor those who serve [Him]." (Doctrine and Covenants 76:5) He put laws in place in order to give us every blessing possible. "There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated. And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated." (Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21) He will not leave us alone. We can have his Spirit to be with us ALWAYS. I know this to be true and I am so thankful for a Loving Heavenly Father that guides every child that asks for his help. I hope that many more can learn to recognize the Spirit of the Lord so they, too, may be led into all good!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Promised Blessings from Heaven
For a time, I dated a gal who was very wonderful. I felt drawn to her beautiful eyes, great spirit, and cheerful demeanor. After several weeks, I knew how I had begun to feel about her and wished to pursue a more established relationship. This gave me a sense of Déjà vu, due to the fact that every other relationship that I have had, at least in the realm of dating, has ended in heartbreak. I did not wish to go down that road again. I was reluctant to face those emotions and to openly discuss how I felt with her.
After several promptings and subsequent conversation, I felt to talk with her that evening. Having been a coward much of my life, I knew only to rely on the Lord for the strength to follow the feeling that I had. I thought "If I open myself and share those emotions and those feelings are not reciprocated, I will be crushed!" I wrestled with that feeling for most of the evening, drawing strength through reading the words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's book "Trusting Jesus" and through prayer. I pressed on, trusting that the Lord would help me to share what I felt, I prayed for patience until I understood the Lord's plan, I prayed that I would be faithful, no matter the outcome of the conversation that was now imminent.
I was relieved to feel the warmth that I have come to enjoy more and more frequently. An overwhelming sense of peace and reassurance encircled me. I felt as if Heavenly Father spoke to me saying, "My son, I am happy that you have chosen to trust in Me and in the plan that I have for you." I knew that initiating that conversation at that moment in time, although it had not happened yet but was sure to come within the next 24 hours, was the right thing to do. I did not know what would come of it but now I knew that whatever did come, this was the Lord's will for me.
I briefly exchanged texts with her as she said she couldn't talk that evening. She said that she would call the next day. As we had arranged, she called me the following evening and we spoke. I expressed my desires to date her, and only her, and asked where she stood on the matter. She did not feel the same feelings that I felt. She still wanted to date and spend time together but wanted to leave her options open. I was happy to find that the crushing pain of previous experiences did not come. I felt at peace with what she expressed and again felt the reassurance that this was the will of the Lord.
With this news, my confidence seemed to INCREASE and not to DECREASE. I took strength in the words of President Thomas S. Monson, "one of the greatest and most valuable lessons we can learn in mortality is that when God speaks and a man obeys, that man will always be right." The result of the conversation was not what I had hoped for. However, I know that I had felt prompted to speak the words which I had spoken at that specific moment. Elder Richard G. Scott taught, "With certainty, you will receive every promised blessing for which you are worthy." I know this is true and I look forward with hope to those "promised blessings."
After several promptings and subsequent conversation, I felt to talk with her that evening. Having been a coward much of my life, I knew only to rely on the Lord for the strength to follow the feeling that I had. I thought "If I open myself and share those emotions and those feelings are not reciprocated, I will be crushed!" I wrestled with that feeling for most of the evening, drawing strength through reading the words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's book "Trusting Jesus" and through prayer. I pressed on, trusting that the Lord would help me to share what I felt, I prayed for patience until I understood the Lord's plan, I prayed that I would be faithful, no matter the outcome of the conversation that was now imminent.
I was relieved to feel the warmth that I have come to enjoy more and more frequently. An overwhelming sense of peace and reassurance encircled me. I felt as if Heavenly Father spoke to me saying, "My son, I am happy that you have chosen to trust in Me and in the plan that I have for you." I knew that initiating that conversation at that moment in time, although it had not happened yet but was sure to come within the next 24 hours, was the right thing to do. I did not know what would come of it but now I knew that whatever did come, this was the Lord's will for me.
I briefly exchanged texts with her as she said she couldn't talk that evening. She said that she would call the next day. As we had arranged, she called me the following evening and we spoke. I expressed my desires to date her, and only her, and asked where she stood on the matter. She did not feel the same feelings that I felt. She still wanted to date and spend time together but wanted to leave her options open. I was happy to find that the crushing pain of previous experiences did not come. I felt at peace with what she expressed and again felt the reassurance that this was the will of the Lord.
With this news, my confidence seemed to INCREASE and not to DECREASE. I took strength in the words of President Thomas S. Monson, "one of the greatest and most valuable lessons we can learn in mortality is that when God speaks and a man obeys, that man will always be right." The result of the conversation was not what I had hoped for. However, I know that I had felt prompted to speak the words which I had spoken at that specific moment. Elder Richard G. Scott taught, "With certainty, you will receive every promised blessing for which you are worthy." I know this is true and I look forward with hope to those "promised blessings."
Monday, March 5, 2012
Response
***Caution, I don't know the official church doctrine/standing here and if I am wrong I apologize. You can always research your own answers at www.lds.org***
This post is in response to a video and comments found at:
I welcome all comments and hope that I will be able to answer your questions.
I guess first, I would like state that I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I believe that it is very easy for us to believe we have found the things for which we are looking (i.e., she states that she was "looking for false prophecies by Joseph Smith"). She cites Doctrine and Covenants 84:4-5 and speculates that it refers to a temple that is to be built in Far West (see other prophecies about the gathering of the saints to Far West). The Kirtland Temple was finished within a couple of years.
She references several verses in Revaltion 21:
1 And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea.
2 And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband
22 And I saw no temple therein: for the Lord God Almighty and the Lamb are the temple of it.
I believe that the new Jerusalem must be built as a gathering place for the Saints and at the "time of burning" which is spoken of in the Bible, the righteous Saints will be brought up with the Lord and the earth and heaven will pass away (see verse 1). The return of this city is what John sees in verse 2. Verse 22, the purpose of temples is to prepare us with the covenants and ordinances necessary for eternal life. Therefore, when the new Jerusalem returns to Earth, there will not be need of temples.
As for the last bit, about following by blind faith, I do have something to say. I would say that we should do things because we have a testimony that they are true. I am one who grew up in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I served as a missionary to the Hispanic population in the Cincinnati, OH area for two years. I returned home at the age of 21 in 2005. Since then, I have struggled to live by the standards of the Gospel and have found varying levels of satisfaction with my life. When I sin, there is an inner peace that I lose as I allow Satan to possess a portion of my heart.
2 Nephi 4:27-28:
27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
I know that I could give up at any moment and the feelings of guilt would eventually subside and I would be numb. However, this is not my intention in life. I am here to grow and to learn. I will continue to fight against Satan and his servants. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I know that the revelations given through the prophets in the Doctrine and Covenants are true. I know that the Bible is true. I know that I cannot force anybody to believe my words. I cannot force anybody to believe the words of the Lord. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God who was prepared in a good Christian home to bring forth the restoration of the fulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
91 Days (exactly 13 weeks) to a New Life
Ok, so it's been about 2 hours since my last post and since then I've decided that I'm going to go public with my goal to lose weight. I know that there are a bunch of different diets and workout regimens out there such as The South Beach Diet, The Atkins Diet, P90X, Crossfit, and so forth. I don't intend on following a single one of them. The diet that I have put together is based on an idea from the book "Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle" so I do have to acknowledge Tom Venuto for his brilliant book. The workout part of my lifestyle change was given to me by a former co-worker of my dad, Aaron Winter(s). I'm going to post pictures today along with my measurements so that anyone can follow along and cheer me on. Sometimes I get lazy but I figure this will be a good way to keep me motivated. I plan on posting weekly pictures along with my weight, body fat %, waist and chest circumference, and maybe others depending on whether I think of them or not. I may post my fastest mile for the week...although I'm fat, slow, and lazy now...I will be a different person in 13 weeks. I won't only be exercising and eating well, I believe that in order for this to be a productive change, I will need to better my spiritual self as well. I will read my scriptures every day, pray frequently, and attend church weekly. So...here we go...91 days to a new me! You'll see me next week!
Weight - 296.0 lbs
Body Fat - 34%
Stomach - 50.5"
Waist - 46.5"
Chest - 54"
R. Biceps - 17.5"
L. Biceps - 16.5"
R. Thigh - 30"
L. Thigh - 30"
R. Calf - 19.5"
L. Calf - 18.5"
Neck - 19"
Growing Pains and the Power of Prayer
I have no clue if anyone will ever read this but it's always fun to write down my feelings and think that someday, somewhere, someone may come across my words and they might internalize some of what I write and that it could, even if it be in some small way, help them in their life.
The other day I was sitting at work and I found myself in tears. For those of you who know me, you know what I've been going through. For those of you who don't, suffice it to say that I'm more emotional than a 15 year old girl. I was troubled by a recent loss and it left me very confused. I was trying to figure out what I had done wrong. What had caused such a change and how was I to fix the problem that now lay in front of me.
In the past, if I felt the way that I was feeling, I would turn to alcohol or any number of other "quick fixes" to numb myself from feeling. Having previously made the commitment to do away with such habits I now found myself in search of true peace and healing. At first, I turned to poetry, something constructive for which I have gained much love. However, all this did was provide temporary relief to pain that was much more than skin deep. As I sat in that chair at work, trying to hide the tears that had welled up in my eyes, a thought came to my mind. PRAY!
It wasn't an elegant prayer by any stretch of the imagination but it was from my heart. I asked for help to heal my aching heart. I asked for an increase in patience and diligence so that I could understand the Lord's will and make it my own desire. I went about my job trying to get my mind off of the girl for whom I had feelings. Trying to rid myself of the memories because the loss was too painful. A scripture came to mind, John 16:33 - These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. This gave me some semblance of peace but I was still troubled as I continued to wrestle with past feelings.
I continued to seek spiritual growth as I knew I had much room for improvement and I knew that I would find the inner peace for which I was searching. I began to listen to old conference talks for guidance. Time after time the same thing was mentioned, The Atonement. How could the Atonement bring peace? I'm not hurting because of sin. Then the thought came to me, Christ not only suffered for every sin that we would commit but he experienced every human emotion and if anyone in the world would know how to comfort me, it would be him. I prayed for further understanding. I prayed to know what I was to do. I prayed for healing. I had a feeling that let me know that all would be well. It was no longer a matter of "what should I do?" I had the thought "continue to do what is right and you'll know what to do!" An inexplicable calm came over me.
I know that I no longer need to know beforehand what I am to do. I don't need to know what will happen in my love life to know that I will always be happy. I'm happy because I am doing what's right and the Lord will bless me as he sees fit. I realized that I don't have to close any door in order for me to be happy. I don't have to say goodbye to move forward with my life. If things with her rekindle themselves in the future then they do. If they never do then that is what is meant to be. I don't know what is best for me and I certainly don't know what is best for her. I don't know what's in store for me. I don't know if she and I will ever date again. I don't know if we will even be friends, even though I hope that we are.
I don't know what my life has in store for me. I don't need to know. I don't need to be in control anymore because I have allowed my Heavenly Father and Savior back into my life and I know that, as long as I remain faithful, they will be in control. I know that the prayers of the faithful are answered. I know that they are answered in the Lord's time and in the Lord's way. I just pray that I have the patience to understand the Lord's way and timing. I know that following the Lord's plan is the only way for me, or anyone for that matter, to find true and lasting happiness in life. I know that he will always be here for me, even when no one else can be.
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