After contemplating an idea that our Activities Council (Alpine Single Adult Ward, A.K.A Mid-Singles Ward) was working on for an upcoming activity, I was forced to face many of the thoughts that I had stored in an empty part of my chest. I had to take a look inside the Pandora's box that is my heart. This is some of the conclusion to which I came along with my response to Janice:
I thought to respond yesterday but I didn't really have anything good to say. My immediate thoughts last night were not thoughts that I felt conducive to our planning. I have felt like this information (dating advice), coaching, guidance, etc. has been beat into my head since I was 21. In all honesty, it was praught (which I definitely think should be a word) before that but the intensity was ramped up when I returned from the Ohio Cincinnati Mission. I thought, "I have unsuccessfully tried pretty much everything and I just want to be able to attend church without the worry of when the next lecture on dating and eternal marriage will come, yet now I am part of planning that next lecture." Driving around this morning I felt like maybe I was in the wrong place, maybe I was in the wrong calling, and maybe I should head to Canada.
I wouldn't say that I was in a dark place but I was not excited that I would be required to help create, organize, promote, and enjoy this activity. Then a thought was brought to mind, something which was shared among our council members to help us maintain focus for the activities. We need to remember that "the purpose of these activities is to help people feel loved and cared for". "Okay," I thought, "how does this activity help people feel loved and cared for? What contribution can I make? Why am I here, at this moment?"
A simple idea came as an answer to, "how can we make sure that people feel loved?" By serving one another. How do we ensure that people are serving one another? The idea of a hidden game formed...not entirely but a bit. Random selection, you are given someone's name in the ward and you are encouraged to do something meaningful for the individual whose name they've drawn. If they don't know the person, they'll be meeting a lot of people in search of their "selected service receiver". During the activity, we need to be mindful and seek out those that made the effort to come to the activity, but who might be struggling to interact. As we look for the "lonely ones", we will find delightful people with whom we have much in common (after all, those who attend will likely have similar theological views). This is our chance to make sure that no one sits along. No one hangs out alone. Ultimately, that no one feels alone.
The long and short of it is that I needed to get over myself. I need to go to church, to activities, and about everyday life looking for the good which I can contribute. I should be asking, "how can I make this better?" and not, "what can I get out of this?" The "dating seminar" idea is great. There is much that can be learned, tweaked, added, bettered, improved, perfected in all of us. It took me more than 24 hours to process it all but this will be a success. I give my stamp of approval and support. I will do what I can to make this a success. TRUST THE PROCESS and remember, IT'S ABOUT THE END GOAL!
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